It is the desire of every young couple who are bound by the bond of marriage that they always stay together, but due to the increasing complexities of modern lifestyle, many times their dream remains incomplete. Due to a preferential demand, husband and wife have to live in two different cities or countries. Ever ever, higher education, any special technical training or any major opportunity of promotion… or any important responsibility associated with personal life. For several reasons, some couples now have to stay away from each other for long periods of time. This matter can be related to personal choice, decision-making freedom or any compulsion. Some people consider it good for a career, according to many couples, it seems to increase distances in the relationship.
What are the challenges?
Supporters of personal liberty may find this perception a bit attractive, but there are many challenges associated with it. Kartika is a software engineer from the profession. She says, ‘We have an arranged marriage. We had information about this before marriage, because of our job, we both have to be separated from each other and both of us were mentally prepared for this, but now because of living in different cities after marriage We both feel very lonely.
Although during the holidays we always live together, but this period is very short to understand each other well. When I compare myself with the second couple, I feel that even after two years of marriage, such a good underlying trend has not been developed between us. Still, both of us try to understand that through dialogue, we try to understand each other.
Hard to win trust
To make any marriage successful, it is very important for a husband and wife have faith in love. It is very difficult for couples to win each other’s trust in such a relationship. A CA. “My husband works in a merchant navy,” says Ramya, who works at the firm. They are roaming in different countries with ships. Many times a mobile network is not available, so it does not matter to them for weeks. Sometimes I feel depressed.
Then there are many doubts in my mind about the husband who is so far away from his wife. Many times, I become more vulnerable to them, due to which they get annoyed. Yes, it is different from the fact that even after ten years of marriage, when we come home in the holidays, there is a freshness of freshness in our relationship.
It is uncomfortable
Psychological consultant Vichitra Dargan Anand, about the change in husband and wife relationship over time, says, “It is very difficult to understand each other’s personality, behavior and habits without always staying in the same house. Such a relationship with psychology is very uncomfortable. It is very important for good health that a husband and wife can fulfill each other’s emotional and physical needs while living together, but this is not possible in a long distance relationship.
Due to incomplete sexual desires, negative feelings like stress and frustration arise in the person. This can lead to problems like depression, stress and hypertension. Because of such relationships, people are attracted to extramarital affairs. Sometimes the situation becomes so serious that the matter reaches the divorce. To avoid problems, couples must consciously interact with each other.
Increasing problems from a distance
Couples living far away from each other have to face many practical difficulties. Soumya is a lecturer in a college in Delhi University and her husband is Subodh Scientist. Because of his research, he had to go to the United States for three years. Soumya explains, ‘Because of loneliness here I became very stressed. I also went to America with a two-month vacation, but I was mentally very disturbed. It was a very uncertain period.
It was very difficult for both of us to stay separate for a long time. Because of my job and elderly mother-in-law, I had to stay here. Often we talked through video calls, yet we felt very lonely. Again, this fact can’t be denied that it is necessary for the husband and wife to stay together for the strength of the relationship. That is why my husband abandoned his intention to work there, and returned to India after the research was over.
To improve the relationship of such couples, close family members, such as parents and siblings also play an important role. Many times family members unknowingly create misunderstandings between husband and wife, due to which relationships between couples with long distance relationships become strained. In this context, Mayuri, who works in the bank, says, “My older brother had gone to America for a project of his company. The sister-in-law is in the government job, so he was with us here with the nephew.
During that time we used to take care of sister-in-law. Whenever the brother came here in the holidays, my mother would have already told her sister-in-law that you have to go somewhere for two weeks. As long as Bhaiya was here, we tried our best to do all the work at home so that Sister in law has the opportunity to spend quality time with husband and child.
Overall, staying away from each other for a while, whether there is a choice of a couple or a compulsion, if the thoughts of one another with positive thinking are taken care of, then this relationship will remain pleasant.